I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
