I wannas sexs uuuuu
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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