The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
