I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
