You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She told me I should be a condom model.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
