My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
