OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Still dying that you shit outside
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
