Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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