it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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