at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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