Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
