So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
