I looked at my own cervix.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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