I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
