About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
