Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
