Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
