I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
