Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i already hear my dad disowning me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
