She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
