If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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