I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize