worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
