Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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