could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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