He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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