then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
40s are totally the cure
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
