You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
