wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
