Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
