9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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