Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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