My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
well you can't waste a boner
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
porn star boner night. come get it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
