I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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