the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
