let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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