I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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