like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
