Your face is a jimmy john
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
