You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
