Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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