So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
