so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
