I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
