I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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