Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
