Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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