Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
