It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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