I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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