During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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