at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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