Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We have started to decorate penises.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All the doctor said was why
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
