I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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