I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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