love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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