We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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