thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
